The Professors passion for "The Science of Deceit" started here...

Employed by the Ministry (in a covert capacity) to help introduce the law ending dishonest politics, you can see his hand all over the posts of past.

Current political circumstances have forced him to reveal himself and as we speak, MPs are signing up to re-introduce The Elected Representatives (Prohibition of Deception) Bill for debate with over 80,000 voters supporting them.

Posts before Jan '08 are purely for the record (with hindsight they make fascinating reading). Posts after May 13th mark the Professor's return.

Meet the Professor

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Into the belly of the beast...

Parliament really is some kind of alternative reality, a kind of Disneyland in the heart of Whitehall - empty parking meters beckon, Policemen smile beatific smiles, Traffic Wardens are polite/helpful. The combined effect was to totally throw any scepticism severely off balance - and then the weirdness started...

Nothing could've prepared us for the cunning psychological tom-foolery these Parliamentarians employ. We're sitting in reception, waiting for Lord Pendry and a chubby, bald civil servant with predatory eyes, sashays past as if he's on a catwalk. Stopping at the toilet door he turns, to beam at us with a mouthful of gleaming pearly-whites, then minces through, slamming it behind him.

Unsettling. Eh ? And then he delivers the sucker punch...

With clear knowledge that we can hear his every move through the flimsy bathroom door, he unzips and at full volume proceeds to give us a perfect falsetto rendition of "I believe I can fly" by R Kelly whilst emptying his bladder.

By the time he exits, we're visibly shaken. The elderly lady sitting next to us has turned the same shade of purple as her hair. He smiles once more and sashays down a corridor.

If we seem distracted during the interview - it's down to that (and the fact that halfway through the same man pops in to deliver the post).

These Parliamentarians are devious in the extreme. We're out of our depth, swimming with sharks.


  1. I've never heard somebody contradict themselves on so many occassions in such little time

  2. a)My wife is not a chubby civil servant.
    b)She was with me at the time you refer to.
    c)She certainly wouldn't be delivering post to Lord Pendry
    d)She hates R Kelly
    e)Lord Pendry has temporarily asked me to look after his white pussy and I have declared this on the members register of interests.

    If you continue to publish these vicious allegations, or pursue this concept of accountability I shall be forced to take matters further.

  3. Gimme my cat back

  4. Is he trying to suggest there IS smoke without fire ? Perhaps he can tell us how the hell he lit that cigar on yesterdays post ?

  5. Lets just get what he is saying in order. Democracy is a cover for the rule of the intelligensia. How very Platonic of him.

    So they can lie to us just to shut us up while they make the decisions that we are too stupid to understand. Our voice isn't God? No but it democracy. Grr he has made me cross.

  6. oh dear, i wouldn't want to be in the belly of that beast!

  7. Political Groupie22 Dec 2006, 08:31:00

    He's quite cuddly really. I like his little muff tickler. Bristles. Hmmmm

  8. Not George Michael4 Jan 2007, 11:45:00

    Problem with muff-ticklers is the smell under your nose

  9. You wanna watch out for the singing guy, I heard on the grapevine, that singing is the deathsong of secret service assassins

  10. today// in every aspect requires immediacy/ an immediate response/ answer/ decision/ choice/ etc.. our political issues stem from a lack of immediacy/ bi-elections/ general elections/ young persons are choosing not to vote because of the lack of immdeiate/ real contact they receive/ cameron's webcam, more spin using today s technology but they strive for immediate answers/ believe-able people talking with passion/ that subsequently require real character/ which in turn brings respect// grumpy suited middle aged men replacing grumpy suited middle aged men, that believe they can encourage the younger society to vote.. celebrity political big brother/ make them share a room/ send galloway back in

    ah a rant

  11. Tony the Hairdresser10 Jan 2007, 15:58:00

    Galloway in a catsuit - to think, he's the most successful litigant in the House of Commons. And he's got a muff-tickler a la Pendry (though I daresay it smells a fair bit worse)

  12. love the rant!

  13. Martin Luther King10 Jan 2007, 16:14:00

    Lord Tom ? You mean Uncle Tom.

  14. the village people10 Jan 2007, 16:27:00

    Nothing wrong with a muff tickler

  15. God wouldn't want him to be my Uncle

  16. does galloway dye half his head? beard bit? maybe uncle tom dye's his bits? bottom half of his body, and mauwer knows about hence if leaked (he would get wet) and found out..dirty little man!!

  17. "Susie said...

    God wouldn't want him to be my Uncle"

    But a local councillor in Longdendale, Sean Parker-Perry has him as a father in law!

    Have a look at Tameside Eye who have some info on Tom Pendry: