The Professors passion for "The Science of Deceit" started here...

Employed by the Ministry (in a covert capacity) to help introduce the law ending dishonest politics, you can see his hand all over the posts of past.

Current political circumstances have forced him to reveal himself and as we speak, MPs are signing up to re-introduce The Elected Representatives (Prohibition of Deception) Bill for debate with over 80,000 voters supporting them.

Posts before Jan '08 are purely for the record (with hindsight they make fascinating reading). Posts after May 13th mark the Professor's return.


Meet the Professor

Thursday, November 01, 2007

MPs support growing

Just as we were packing our bags - word comes in that the number of MPs either signing the EDM or directly supporting the Bill has grown to 35.

If one of them's yours, e-mail and tell em you love him.

This response from Desmond Swayne MP, forwarded to us from Nick Hughes



"Thank you. I have yet to see the published bill but the principle sounds daft to me.
If I am guilty of fraud charge me. If my deception has damaded you or anyone else then sue me. Elected representatives are not imune from the criminal and civil law as in some other countries.

In any event elected representarives are properly held to account by voters: if you don't trust me then vote foe somebody else, or stand yourself." DS
Please feel free to write to Desmond and let him know your thoughts.

Nick's original letter to Desmond follows ;

Dear Desmond Swayne,

I'm writing to you to ask about your position regarding the 'Elected
Representatives (Prohibition Of Deception) Bill'.

As I understand it, so far, you don't have a position on this bill and
I would like to know what that is; since Adam Price MP will be
re-introducing the bill in the next parliamentary session.

If your position is to oppose this bill, then I would respectfully
insist that you reconsider and support the bill, at least in principle.

I feel that a self-regulating parliament (being judge and jury to
itself) is simply not acceptable, and that there should be an
independent, transparent method of legal recourse when MPs have been
found to be lying or deceitful in matters relating to government and
privileges.

The public and business are both held accountable, in law, for
misrepresentation and deceitful practice; so why aren't MPs?
This bill seeks to redress that imbalance - please support it for the
sake of a fairer, more transparent system and renewed public trust in
parliament.

Yours sincerely,

Nicholas Hughes


We'll be back with Parliament on the week of the 6th. Spread the good word.

P.S. Nice post from Webwonder's blog.
P.P.S. Don't forget to sign the petition.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

End of Session

Many of your MPs responses (a big thanks for sending them in) seem to have considered the Elected Representatives (Prohibition of Deception) Bill a bit of a joke. Some (Andrew Dismore etc.) went so far as to call it a publicity stunt for the film – essentially on the basis that because there was never going to be enough time to debate it before the end of this Parliamentary session – when all proposed legislation fails.

Our response has never changed – Adam Price will be re-introducing the Bill in the next Parliamentary session which starts 6th November.

So if the objection was due to a presumed lack of intent, can we assume their support will be forthcoming ? We shall see.

We’ll be taking a break during recess and returning the following week – meantime keep the responses from your MPs coming in.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Cautious Optimism

We’ve mentioned Gordon Brown’s Green Paper, “the Governance of Britain” before. It’s a statement of intent making all the right noises about strengthening government accountability to Parliament, Freedom of Information etc. Published in July 2007, all we could really say was “time will tell”.

Jack Straw, in a Commons statement yesterday, made announcements that would seem to indicate there may well be some genuine movement in this direction - Freedom of Information especially.

All encouraging news. Our “Elected Representatives (Prevention of Deception) Bill may well be a step too far but Adam Price will be introducing it in the next session and todate we have the support of an extraordinary 31 MPs. It’ll be interesting to see if it’ll get as far as being debated in the house.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mopping Up



We’ve spent the last couple of days phoning MPs and chasing them for an answer as to whether they support the Elected Representatives (Prohibition of Deception) Bill.

You can see the results on our MPs Scoreboard. If you’ve ten minutes to spare, it’s highly recommended - you wouldn’t believe how much fun you can have with a bolshy researcher/secretary. That’s not to say the majority haven’t been lovely (even sporting), but the drudgery of cold-calling is certainly worth it when you get a live one.

Must find out what it’d cost to get a Calcutta call centre on the case. If a Bill gets passed banning cold-calling from abroad in the near future - you'll know why.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Out of Time


Friday was set for the second reading of the Bill and as was expected, the house managed to get about half way through the second of 32 Bills for that day.

There’s no more time available this session to debate it in the house but public response has been so positive, Adam has committed to re-introducing it in a couple of weeks time, the 6th November at the start of the next parliamentary session.

Meantime, don’t stop e-mailing your MPs or forwarding their responses to us.

Friday, October 19, 2007

2nd Reading today !!!

The Elected Representatives (Prohibition of Deception) Bill is scheduled for a second reading today. Sadly there are 31 other Private Members Bills ahead of us so in real terms it's extremely unlikely we'll get any time on the floor of the House.

Downing street E-petition is doing OK but growth rate is definitely slowing - only 70 names added yesterday. Hmmm.

Had some very amusing e-mails forwarded to us - responses from MPs to their constituents over whether they'd support the Bill. We're collating them and will post a top ten shortly. Don't forget to send yours in - you can write directly to your MP asking them to support the Bill here.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Big Day Yesterday - The Bill went into the House



Adam Price, the MP who introduced the Bill yesterday, reports...

“Well, we’re past the first hurdle. Have been inundated with messages of support, we really have touched a chord. Lots of people been contacting their own MPs and the House authorities. We must keep this going now we’ve started.”

Meantime ; the Downing Street petition for the Bill seems to be gathering some momentum – well over 200 signatures in it’s first 24 hours (have you signed it yet ?) and we’ve got 19 MPs supporting the Bill. Is yours one of them ? Find out by entering your postcode here.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Downing St. Petition

A very big thanks to all of you who've taken the time to e-mail their MPs and forward their responses. When we get a moment we'll post some of the more amusing comebacks.

Downing St. petition went up today. Don't be shy.


Monday, October 15, 2007

You can't have a law against lying?

Many of our interviewees initially reacted the same way to the question, "Why can't I prosecute an MP for lying ?. And this clip from the rough cut was before we'd even shown them the Misrepresentation of the People Act...

Pick of the Day

This just in from the publicity guys ;

"the Ministry of Truth" is either "Pick of the Week" or "Pick of the Day" in over 13 newspapers !!!!

D Day approaches

As October 11th (transmission date) looms, we thought it was high time you got to see a trailer.

Featuring the (ex) Lord Chancellor, Lord Falconer's response to the concept of a law (the Misrepresentation of the People Act) that would make it an offence for elected representatives to lie was...

Election Jitters

You may well have noticed the Ministry of Truth's subject matter is not entirely without political controversy.

Regrettably, this may well mean that if GB decides to call an election before our transmission date, there's little chance we'll be able to broadcast until after the result.

Nevertheless, the film is pretty much done and dusted, trailers are being cut and preview screenings are being scheduled as we speak.

We shall of course, keep you posted.

Countering Accountability

Unkind souls have commented that by confronting MPs with "the Misrepresentation of the People Act" those who disagreed with it could only be seen as defending their right to lie.

Hmmmm. Here's a summary of the counter-arguments we... encountered.

1) You can't have a law against lying - you can't define a lie
2) Politicians would be mad to lie - it'd be the end of their career
3) You don't need a law - you can go to the press
4) You don't need a law - that's what the general election's for
5) You don't need a law - Parliament holds the government and other MPs to account
6) You don't need a law - Parliament has plenty of internal committees etc. to deal with the problem.

Naturally, we examine these in the film, but don't let that stop you commenting with your thoughts...

For reference, here are the principles behind the Bill.

Hiatus Apologies

Sincerest apologies are due.

It's been some time since we last posted. We've been locked up in the edit suite, occassionally surfacing to catch lines like, "Prison population at record high" alongside "Straw to review/bolster 'Have-a-go hero' laws"...

We're figuring this is the final stage in privatisation of the prison service as well as the department of Justice etc. - Let the population deal with the criminals at home.

Obvious really.

In Switzerland, all new builds have nuclear bunkers in the basement - we'll just have cells. Catch a burglar, lock him up downstairs, problem solved.

Prisons can be sold off to the highest bidder, those lovely high central atriums will make for perfect casinos.

Forgive the rambling. We need more daylight. Lucidity shall return shortly after transmission.

Once Again - for Thee the Bell Tolls



Spookily, the "Filkin affair" Martin mentions rose it's head once more only this Monday in this article by Peter Oborne.

Recaps 3 - Martin Bell

The trail from the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards led to seeking some advice from Martin Bell...
















Martin Bell, the man in the white suit, is someone we trust.

He spent most of his working life in some of the worlds most dangerous war zones so his time as an MP should've been a piece of cake. He served on the Committee for Standards and Privileges (the watchdog for the conduct of MPs) and is one of the few to speak out against the treatment of Sir Philip Mawer
's (the Parliamentary Commissioner) predecessor - Elizabeth Filkin.

"The whispering campaign was not imaginary. It was real and intense. It coincided with her investigations into complaints against Peter Mandelson, John Reid and Keith Vaz, who were not only Labour MPs but government ministers at the time."


We asked him about the reality of MPs regulating themselves, Elizabeth Filkin and the idea of the People prosecuting the government when it lies to us.

To say we were surprised by his answers would be an understatement. We'll be posting the interview tomorrow.

Recaps 2 - First brush with Parliament

For those just joining the Ministry, when we asked solicitors the question, "How do we prosecute an MP for lying" the answer was a resounding "You can't" - try "the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards".

We did.

It was our first brush with Parliament...

Inspector Mawers (that's enough.Ed) - the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards


If you read up on this whole self-regulation business it looks a bit like smoke and mirrors. Plenty of bodies, committees and commissioners - all independent to a man but all reporting to Parliament or the PM. Nice to be Judge and Jury at your own trial, eh ?

Needless to say,
when Sir Philip Mawer returned our call, it was a bit of a shocker. We never thought in a million years they'd let us near the Palace of Westminster - let alone interview its gatekeeper of ethics and morals.

Turns out Sir Philip's office is round the back of Westminster Abbey. Bathed in divine light, you enter through a hobbit-like gate set into a suitably intimidating wall with Westminster casting suitably ominous shadows.

Passing through that gate would be crossing the line from pissing about on the Internet to sticking our head above the establishment parapet. Were we really gonna tough it out with the guy who politics between Teflon Tony and hauling MPs over the coals ?

Who are we kidding ?


I'd had a curry before-hand and that didn't bode well.

We were in a lot of trouble.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Once Again - for Thee the Bell Tolls



Spookily, the "Filkin affair" Martin mentions rose it's head once more only this Monday in this article by Peter Oborne.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Recaps 3 - Martin Bell

The trail from the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards led to seeking some advice from Martin Bell...
















Martin Bell, the man in the white suit, is someone we trust.

He spent most of his working life in some of the worlds most dangerous war zones so his time as an MP should've been a piece of cake. He served on the Committee for Standards and Privileges (the watchdog for the conduct of MPs) and is one of the few to speak out against the treatment of Sir Philip Mawer
's (the Parliamentary Commissioner) predecessor - Elizabeth Filkin.

"The whispering campaign was not imaginary. It was real and intense. It coincided with her investigations into complaints against Peter Mandelson, John Reid and Keith Vaz, who were not only Labour MPs but government ministers at the time."


We asked him about the reality of MPs regulating themselves, Elizabeth Filkin and the idea of the People prosecuting the government when it lies to us.

To say we were surprised by his answers would be an understatement. We'll be posting the interview tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Recaps 2 - First brush with Parliament

For those just joining the Ministry, when we asked solicitors the question, "How do we prosecute an MP for lying" the answer was a resounding "You can't" - try "the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards".

We did.

It was our first brush with Parliament...

Inspector Mawers (that's enough.Ed) - the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards


If you read up on this whole self-regulation business it looks a bit like smoke and mirrors. Plenty of bodies, committees and commissioners - all independent to a man but all reporting to Parliament or the PM. Nice to be Judge and Jury at your own trial, eh ?

Needless to say,
when Sir Philip Mawer returned our call, it was a bit of a shocker. We never thought in a million years they'd let us near the Palace of Westminster - let alone interview its gatekeeper of ethics and morals.

Turns out Sir Philip's office is round the back of Westminster Abbey. Bathed in divine light, you enter through a hobbit-like gate set into a suitably intimidating wall with Westminster casting suitably ominous shadows.

Passing through that gate would be crossing the line from pissing about on the Internet to sticking our head above the establishment parapet. Were we really gonna tough it out with the guy who politics between Teflon Tony and hauling MPs over the coals ?

Who are we kidding ?


I'd had a curry before-hand and that didn't bode well.

We were in a lot of trouble.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The List gets longer

The MPs we've interviewed to support the Misrepresentation of the People Act are being put through the editing grinder. The list grows longer on a daily basis - Jack Straw, Harriet Harman, David Davis, George Osborne - we'll be posting them shortly.

Needless to say - none of the above were terribly for the Act. All accepted the principles behind it ;

We, the people, are sovereign.

We grant this sovereignty to our elected representatives in Parliament.

Whilst representing our sovereignty, our elected representatives have fundamental obligations to be honest, transparent and accountable to us.

For a breach of these fundamental obligations we are entitled to formal, legal, independent redress.

Most have even accepted the fact that at the moment, we have no formal, legal, independent means of redress. We just can't get one of 'em to step up to the bat.

Their main counter arguments run along the lines of...

1) There are other ways of holding MPs and Ministers to account - the press, Parliamentary questions, the Commissioner for Parliamentary Standards (we'll be posting what he had to say next week).

2) Judges aren't elected (more examination of this to follow)

Your well-informed
comments on these are very much desired.

Friday, August 31, 2007

BBC News



Auntie has appointed Leslie Woodhead as executive Producer for "the MInistry of Truth".

Fans of Storyville, World in Action, Panorama et al, will know Leslie as one of the grand old men of British documentaries. He's been making the very best there is since the 60's - from the Stones in Hyde Park to "Cry from the Grave" (Srebrenica massacre - Bosnian Serb army killed an estimated 7,000 Bosnian Muslims)

Our receptionist's (the pneumatic Ms Whiplash) first reaction was, "Is he single ?".

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Recaps - the Law

For those just joining the Ministry - here's where it began to sink in that the answer to the question, "How do I prosecute an MP for Lying ?" was...

***********

The Lawyers (November '06)

Oh how they laughed. You'd have thought solicitors would be biting your hand off for a piece of this action - but lawyer after lawyer said forget it. We figured they thought there'd be no money in it - we were wrong.

In the end, Christian Khan came to our rescue - a medium sized firm who handle civil rights litigation - they said there wasn't much they were scared of and I believe them - as we waited for our interview the receptionist was dishing out over the phone - "Look - have you been sectioned or not ?".


Sadly, our time with them was short, sweet and didn't go as well as we hoped ...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Misrepresentation of the People Act (Mk 3)



Here at last - the final iteration of the Act before it finds itself in front of a Parliamentary draftsman (we hope).


Despite accusations of going soft - Section 4 stays, (for the time being). Next step (post MP supporting it - Ed) is to let a Parliamentary draftsman at it.

Enjoy.

The Misrepresentation of the People Act

A

Bill

to

Ensure honesty, transparency and accountability from
the representatives of the People and their employees.




The obligation for honesty and transparency in matters of government by those elected to represent the People and their employees is absolute. They act on behalf of the People, their sovereignty flows from the people and is conditional upon such honesty and transparency.


s.1 Where an elected representative of the people or an agent employed on their behalf recklessly or with intent to deceive, publishes or causes to be published in their employment in office, a statement or account which to their knowledge is or may be misleading, false or deceptive in a material particular, they shall be guilty of an offence under this Act.

s.2 It shall be an offence under this Act for a representative of the people, or agent employed on their behalf to –

(1) Publish a statement, promise or forecast which he knows to be misleading, false or deceptive in a material particular, or

(2) Dishonestly conceal any material facts whether in connection with a statement, promise or forecast published by him, or

(3) Recklessly publish (dishonestly or otherwise) a statement, promise or forecast which is misleading, false or deceptive in a material manner.


s.3 It shall be a defence for any person charged with an offence under section 2 of this Act to show that at the time of the offence he -

(1) did not know, or could not have been reasonably expected to know that his act or conduct would create an impression that was false or misleading, or

(2) had no part in causing or permitting the publication of the statement or any part thereof, or

(3) could not reasonably be expected to have known that the statement to which the charge relates was inaccurate or misleading, or

(4) took all due care to ensure the accuracy of the statement, or

(5) acted in the interest of National Security.


s.4 It shall be a defence under this Act to provide full and frank disclosure in relation to the misleading, dishonest or reckless act. Disclosure under this section shall limit the potential liability under this Act to disqualification from holding public office. Such disclosure shall be provided (as a public document) within a reasonable time of becoming aware of the misleading, dishonest or reckless act.

s.5 Where a person causes any wasteful employment by knowingly making to a person a false report tending to show an offence has been committed, or tending to show he has information material to any police enquiry, he shall be liable for this offence on indictment only.

s.6 A person guilty of an offence of misrepresenting the people under this Act shall be liable upon summary conviction and or indictment and or be disqualified forthwith from standing as an elected representative of the people or their agent.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Ministry biased ?

We've been accused of bias more times than I can remember, either through the comments or the MPs we've been asking to sign up to the Misrepresentation of the People Act.

As sensitive souls, this pains us.


For the record, our objective is to plug a constitutional gap - the electorate is entitled to formal, independent legal redress should an elected representative breach their fundamental obligation of honesty.

It just so happens we have a Labour government so they're gonna get most of the flak.


We confess this is compounded by the Blair factor. We're happy to go on the record as agreeing with ex Prime Minister Denis Healey's insight from the Sunday Times ;

"He has enormous personal charm but I wouldn't call him a communicator.
He's a bullshitter, and very good at it."




Meantime, I refer our accusers to this previous post,
"Great Political Porkies of Our Time (Pt 1)"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

More Brown stuff

Gordon Brown a member of the Illuminati ?? Probably not.

Amusing none the less and worth watching for the last 30 seconds...

Monday, August 20, 2007

Wholesale theft

Without exception, the MPs we’ve lobbied to support the Misrepresentation of the Peoples Act have cried, “Parliament is the place to hold a duplicitous government to account - not the courts.”

When pressed, they admit that in its current state, Parliament isn’t doing this.

Profuse apologies to Quintin Letts re. his article/blueprint for re-establishing power in the House of Commons (from yesterday’s Observer) - we’ve lifted it wholesale....

Perhaps Gordon will do the same.

++++

Thrash the whips and other ways to beef up the Commons

Parliament needs a thoroughly good shake-up to reinvigorate its present moribund ways. And as for Speaker Martin ...

Gordon Brown's newfound belief in parliamentary scrutiny is a marvellously comic conversion, as unexpected as Osama bin Laden popping up on Al Jazeera in a yarmulka, or the Rev Ian Paisley attending a Celtic match in a green and white scarf. But it has happened. We must believe our eyes. Soon after reaching No 10 Downing Street, the Prime Minister stood before the cameras and, his purply-grey jowls quivering, asserted that it was time ministers and Whitehall rediscovered respect for the House of Commons. Translation: I'm not that Tony Blair who told such porkies before the Iraq War.

Can this be the same Gordon Brown who, during a decade of budgets, concealed numerous taxes from the House and told MPs scant detail about the nasties in the Treasury red book? Can this be the same Gordon Brown who, as Chancellor, kept dodging parliamentary questions about tax credits, preferring to leave those to his underpowered colleague Dawn Primarolo, she of the dreamy eyes and the voice like a fading moped? Can this be the same Gordon Brown who seems happy for Europe's powers to mushroom at the expense of, good lord, Parliament?

August is, however, no time for discreditable cynicism. We journalists are meant to be pressing our shoulders to Gordon's civic wheel, as in some socialist-realist art tableau of communal endeavour. So let us rejoice, comrades. Mr Brown has seized the issue of parliamentary sovereignty. Strike up, ye Soviet choirs! Be grateful!

In the new spirit of consensus which Mr Brown is allegedly keen to engender, here are six ideas which could re-establish the standing of the House of Commons and, in some cases, make life for ministers considerably more peppery. This, after all, is what it is all about. MPs, whatever their party affiliation, should be in the business of discomfiting the government. My proposals are comparatively cost-free, so Mr Brown, who likes to assure us he is prudent about the public purse, need not complain about them being too expensive. Nor do they carry any copyright. David Cameron and Sir Menzies Campbell should feel equally free to borrow them and insert them, word for word if The Observer's syndication department will wear it, in their parties' manifestos before the next general election. Anyway, here goes. The House of Commons could be reinvigorated by the following simple measures:

1: Allow follow-up questions. At present, the Commons rules are ridiculously strict. MPs' opportunities are like snipers' shots. A backbencher has just one chance of a kill - one chance to elicit an answer from a minister. Surprise surprise, ministers have become shameless about ignoring difficult questions. They know that if the MP in question tries to jump up again to press home the query, he or she will be told to sit down by that gormless wonder, Mister Speaker (of whom more in a moment).

The experience of Westminster's select committees shows that MPs are far better at drawing informative answers from our rulers when they are allowed to press their suit a second, third and sometimes even fourth time. It is left to the chairman of the select committee to decide when an MP has pestered the minister enough. That arrangement would not translate directly to the Commons, but if MPs were allowed at least two bites at a minister, it would allow them to embarrass members of the executive who were resorting to blatant flannel.

2: Move the dispatch box. As happens every summer, the Palace of Westminster is currently crawling with carpenters, electricians and hard-hatted workmen who are making renovations and repairs while the Houses are in recess. Here is another small job for them. At present, ministers sit on a bench next to the Commons dispatch box, on the side of the party with the most MPs. Moving the government dispatch box to the centre of the House would loosen the link between party and executive and would underline the fact that ministers are meant to be servants of all sides of the House.

Yes, it would expose ministers and cut them off from the physical assurance of all those 'hear hears' behind them. Good. That might also encourage timid Labour MPs to become more astringent.

This change would involve alterations to the Commons table, a large piece of furniture which is used for jugs of water, reference books and footrest for indolent frontbenchers. Ministers could either be seated at the far end of the table, where the Commons mace currently hangs in a bracket, or they could be placed at the near end. At present, this is home to the wigged clerks who are positioned there so that they can whisper urgent advice to that remarkably dim lightbulb, the Speaker (of whom more in a moment).

3: Weaken the whips. The cost of any minor alterations to the Commons table could be more than met by scrapping the generous state salaries which are paid not only to government whips in both the Commons and the Lords, but also, astonishingly, to some opposition whips. Paid whips tend to be brutal whips (they are keen to hold on to that money, so they do their jobs without mercy). And brutal whips, pretty obviously, are bad for parliamentary independence.

If this withdrawal of whips' salaries seems too big a leap for the Prime Minister and the other party leaders, they could start by destroying the power of the whips to decide which MPs sit on select committees. They should in future be chosen by secret ballot rather than by the party managers.

Sadly, the traffic is at present flowing in the wrong direction on this matter. One of Mr Brown's first acts on becoming Prime Minister was to decide that parliamentary private secretaries (who are effectively unpaid members of the government) can in future sit on select committees. Shortly before the summer recess, furthermore, the government blithely ignored protocol and made Keith Vaz a member of the highly sensitive home affairs select committee. When the opposition complained about this, they were told to shut up by that beacon of purity, Mister Speaker (of whom more in a moment).

The growing independence of select committees has been most welcome in recent years, but at present it can safely be said to be in peril.

4: Evidence on oath. Labour MP Andrew MacKinlay once talked memorably about 'the High Court of Parliament' but there is a telling difference. When witnesses appear in front of MPs at select committees, they do not swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. There is no 'so help me God' moment with a Bible or holy text. The same was the case at the Hutton inquiry. Not everyone who appeared at that inquiry may have told 'the whole truth' and there is often a feeling that select committee witnesses are less than entirely honest. Make them take an oath. Make them realise that Parliament, with its wigged orderlies and its legal-collared Speaker (of whom more in a moment) is indeed a high court. Witnesses should be made to stand in awe of it.

5: Scrap Westminster Hall debates. During New Labour's first term, an offshoot of the Commons was opened, at vast expense, in a room next to the 11th-century Westminster Hall. The morning debates held in this subsidiary chamber are pathetically ill-attended, both by politicians and public. The topics for debate are often parochial and many MPs use them simply to ensure a favourable mention in their constituency newspaper. The debates are chaired not by Mister Speaker (be patient and we will come to him presently), but by other MPs.

Members understandably love this outlet for their gushings. The government's business managers have also been known to 'park', but we should recall the words of William White, head doorkeeper of the Commons in 1870: 'If all the useless verbiage could be strained out of our parliamentary speeches, their force would be increased, the morning papers might diminish their reporting staff - and many a valuable life would be prolonged.' Westminster Hall, quite apart from costing hundreds of thousands of pounds a year, dilutes the importance of the real Commons chamber. Let debates be held in the main House in the morning, if need be, but nowhere else.

6: Sack the current Speaker. Michael Martin, Speaker since 2000, has not been a success. The opposition front benches have grave doubts about him. He chats in a matey manner to Labour MPs and has failed to radiate the impartiality of his recent predecessors. He has also, recently, employed the services of Messrs Carter-Ruck and partners, perhaps London's hungriest libel lawyers, as his spokesmen. This is hardly an act of parliamentary accountability. Thanks to a Freedom of Information request, we now know that Carter-Ruck's services are being paid out of public funds. Although within the law, this seems little short of a scandal.

If Gordon Brown is serious about restoring the strong name of Parliament, he should lift his telephone, ask to be connected to Speaker's House, and suggest to the irascible old fellow at the other end to bow to the inevitabilities of life and relinquish his shrivelling, palsied grip on office.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Suicide clause



There may well be some justification in the accusation that we’ve diluted The Misrepresentation of the Peoples Act with our contemplating the addition of Clause 4.

s.4 It shall be a defence under this Act to provide full and frank disclosure in relation to the misleading, dishonest or reckless act. Disclosure under this section shall limit the potential liability under this Act to disqualification from holding public office. Such disclosure shall be provided (as a public document) within a reasonable time of becoming aware of the misleading, dishonest or reckless act.
The long, drawn out (and amusing – Ed) process of trying to find an MP to support it has led to some truths coming home. Ultimately, the purpose is to plug the constitutional gap we discovered and prevent elected representatives from mis-leading us, mis-representing the facts etc.

As such, we figure giving the accused an opportunity to fall on their sword instead of clogging up the courts wasn’t a bad compromise. No doubt there’ll be further fine-tuning but at least the main clauses are starting to stick.

Full version to be posted tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

PC Harriet Harman



Talk is cheap - money pay da rent.


A cracking pronouncement from HH on her website re. the new job. No less than a serious declaration of intent...

"As Leader of the House of Commons I have pledged to be the "policewoman" in
the cabinet who ensures that ministers show respect for MPs and that the new
emphasis on putting Parliament first must be enforced.

That was one of the things that I said in my deputy leadership campaign,
that I felt that people wanted to see no spin, no briefings, no leaking,
respect for Parliament

Everybody has recognised that there has been an erosion of confidence in our
political institutions and a climate of cynicism, this has not just been
about the government. It has affected voter turnout and low voter turnout
undermines the legitimacy of Parliament.

This is a problem that needs to be addressed. This is a very important time
to be taking over as leader of the House. Because what the House does and
what happens in the House, everybody agrees, is critical to turning that
lack of legitimacy around."
We've been granted facetime with the new leader of the House and for the time-being Ministry Towers seems to have turned into a betting shop. High volumes of low denomination (unmarked etc.) banknotes are changing hands as we speak. Current odds are strongly against her supporting the Misrepresentation of the Peoples Act.

I've never been a betting man but couldn't resist taking a piece of the action. There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that we will be unceremoniously ejected from her office - even if it's only for grevious crimes of flatulence (I am a little nervous).


"I felt that people wanted to see no spin, , no briefings, no leaking, respect for Parliament ".

We shall see just how much substance lies behind this.

Naturally, we'll keep you posted.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Two birds, one stone

Miliband and mendacity. Lovely.

Early signs of a different management style under Brown aren’t good. This time it seems the electorate and the environment are getting shafted.

It’s almost become a running joke at Ministry Towers – as soon as someone comments or e-mails us with a dare to produce an example of a cover up/lies/duplicity/mendacity we have to wait no more than 3 days before a fresh one lands in our lap. Last time it was the Treasury under the current PM – this time, having only posted about David Miliband last week, turns out we may have discovered another reason for his accepting the Foreign Office post and putting the environmental brief behind him.

A leaked internal briefing paper for ministers from the Department for Business Enterprise and Regulatory Reform asked what options there are for “statistical interpretations” (pronounced "misleading the electorate") of the EU renewable energy target which would make the target easier to achieve.

Blair signed GB plc up to relying on 20% of our energy requirements from renewable sources by 2020. We’re currently at 2% and the dep’t reckons the best we could possibly hope for is 9% but under current policies only 5% would be achievable (2% below the EU average and 8% behind Germany).

Under Miliband’s watch the Agency for Environmental etc. affairs signed us up to the disastrous Carbon Trading Scheme and evidently wasn’t talking to TB at the time the ex-PM signed us up to the 20% goal (either that or TB didn't give a shit/was lied to by the dep't in a "45 minute to launch" kind of way - Ed)

Now the civil servants are trying to figure out if there’s a “statistical interpretation” (as opposed to a factual interpretation) to get our elected representatives off the hook.

We wonder if a company attempting to comply with the Carbon Trading Scheme could use “statistical interpretations” to establish it had met regulatory targets ?

Needless to say, We’ll be attempting to file a “statistical interpretation” of our tax returns.

And by the way - any new reader sceptics out there, don't hesitate to e-mail us asking us for examples of government mendacity - it generally only takes a few days for something bright, shiny and new to rear its head.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Miliband out of favour



Hmmm. A shift away from Miliband by his hormonal fans at Ministry Towers.

Accepting the foreign office brief did not go down well with those that “just wanted to (s)mother him” after his much talked up commitment to his previous position safeguarding the planet and its farmers.

As Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs our office males were always a little too quick to condemn the man’s track record, but now, the female cry (mid-application of heavy lipstick) of “he is committed to the environment, he’s not just another politician on the make etc.” is no-longer offered up.

In fact, it’s been more like a bleary-eyed staring into the distance, a wistful shaking of the head, a distracted return to the computer screen and an awful gnawing at the soul whilst muttering under their breath, “All men are shit.”.

Our glee is tempered by the terrible stain Miliband has left on male integrity at Ministry Towers.

We will never get laid.


Selah.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Revenge best served cold


Some very interesting news for the blogosphere took me right back to university and a cheery glimpse into middle-England racism...

The economic theories of Richard Posner raised their head in a law tutorial. The man basically says you can reduce all social behaviour to economics and the market place. There is no need for law in a properly free market, because peoples choice will provide the regulation.

There's plenty of criticism of this kinda stuff, but as students, we were repulsed by the idea that everything could be reduced to cash.

“Posner ? No laws - just money. Wonder if he’s a yid ?” Chirped up the student voted “most likely to run the BNP”.

This led to a fairly heated discussion (and words outside) on “how would the free market regulate against racist twats with deep insecurities and homo-phobic/sexual tendencies?”. The session descended into the wordplay and brutal violence known only of the BNP and my grandmother as all were stumped for an answer.

Had that student actually gone on to the BNP – he’s just about to get it.

First Direct, Vodafone, Virgin Media, the AA, Halifax and the Prudential have all withdrawn ad campaigns from Facebook because they’ve appeared on the BNP page.

No doubt the response will be something along the lines of, “First Direct, Vodafone, Virgin Media, the AA, Halifax and the Prudential – all run by Jews”. Eventually, when everybody thinks you're a cunt and doesn't want to be associated with your website it becomes, "the whole world's run by Jews/blacks/queers/muslims" (delete where applicable).

In any case, my old university pal, the world may well be run by cunts of some order, but not cunts from your party.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Summer Hols




Before you know it and Parliament’s in recess – Summer Hols ‘till October 8th. This has implications for us…


1. It’s not gonna be easy to get time with an MP, let alone find one to support our insanity of a Bill which will prevent them from lying. Still, we shall persist (and keep you posted).

2. Gordon’s got himself some time. Perhaps enough for us to forget about his green paper on constitutional reform - his stated intention of returning power “from the executive to Parliament” won’t be tested for a few months.

Meantime, we’ve been granted facetime with the head honchos in Parliament’s Bill Office to help us fine-tune the drafting of “the Misrepresentation of the Peoples Act” so we’re frantically trying to lick it into some form of respectability (as opposed to a barking mad statute hell-bent on sending MPs to Wormwood Scrubbs).

Once we're happy we'll post it for your delectation/feedback/general piss-taking.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Brown's Green Paper

Much excitement at Ministry Towers over Brown’s Green Paper on constitutional reform entitled, “The Governance of Britain” with sub-headings of , “Limiting the powers of the executive” and “Making the Executive more Accountable”.

It’s opening gambit clearly states Brown is seeking to, “re-new trust in our democratic institutions”, at least that’s grudgingly admitting there’s a trust problem, though “re-newing” implies there was something there in the first place.

Rather than drag you through the nuts and bolts, suffice to say the real rub’s in the small print. Little concrete action and nothing that actually limits the powers of the executive, makes them more accountable.

They do say it’s only, “the first step in a national conversation” and though we applaud the intention, it feels like we already had the conversation but no-one was listening.

Still, if Brown’s saying he’s ready to listen, it’d be a start if he accepted our interview request - this business of finding an MP to support legislation that would solve the “trust” problem overnight isn’t easy.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

A Hiatus

Apologies for the severe lack of posting recently.

We’re still here, but not alone.
Broadcasters have taken an interest in our adventures. We’ll see how this pans out. Talk is cheap - money pay da rent.

Meantime, in pursuit of just the one MP who’ll support and introduce the Misrepresentation of the People’s Act, we’ve been battling our way through the occupants of Portcullis House and the Palace of Westminster.

We’re even on nodding terms with security.

This won’t last long.



We have much to tell, and promise to get back to posting more regularly as soon as time permits.


Don’t forget, you can always sign up to the RSS feed and get notified automatically when we post.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Democracy Unaffordable



Photo Montage : Peter Kennard

This BAE business stinks. Cuts right to the heart of a government's genuine desire to “export democracy”. And now the US are really gonna fuck things up.

It’s inconceivable that a UK or US minister of defence would get a kickback to the tune of £100m a year for awarding a military contract. Granted, times have changed, but even in the petro-dollar 70’s morality such behaviour would be seen as a gross breach of public trust and basic democratic principles. The government is supposed to act in the name of and interests of the people – difficult to believe when your minister of defence has just splashed out on a Gulfstream jet (actually a 747 – Ed).

Was there ever a time government policy of “exporting” democracy was thrown into sharper relief ? So long as you’re a pal, so long as we get paid, we don’t mind you screwing your people, in fact we’re happy to help.

Naive ? This Al Yamaneh bizniz is gonna come back to bite us in the arse - in the shape of the US investigation. You gotta wonder if Gordon will stick to the terms of our extradition treaty when they come knocking on BAE directors’ doors (probably the best hope for the Nat West 3).


The Misrepresentation of the People's Act ? - might as well give up.

With this deal, the Saudi’s priced democracy out of business. The thousands of jobs, the treasury contribution – who was gonna say no ? We couldn't afford it. And Bandar’s bung was almost certainly priced into the margin anyway.

The SFO and Goldsmith decided it wasn’t in the UK's interest to continue the investigation. For once, maybe the US and it's investigation is actually acting on behalf of the Saudi people ?


No doubt they’ll get their come-uppence soon enough. Maybe in Diego Garcia.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Harman, "No more spin". Blair, "What spin ?"

Yesterday, Minister for Justice, Harriet Harman was lamenting the press and the government’s approach to it, "We have to do our politics differently, the old embedded habits of briefing the press has got to change and we have to be very open, stop the spin, stop the briefing and respect Parliament."

Meanwhile, across the way, Blair was berating the state of political reporting - the closest he got to admitting “spin” may have something to do with it was, “I first acknowledge my own complicity. We paid inordinate attention in the early days of New Labour to courting, assuaging, and persuading the media”

Amazingly, he blames the simplification and exaggeration of today's press on technology, the speed of communications and the need for “impact”. He says things have got to change. No mention of the words “we'll change", or "we'll stop our institutionalised lying to the press”.

Bear this in mind when you read the full speech to really appreciate how persuasive the man is. You almost feel like he's fessed up, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Cabinet Office fails Standards in Public Life Test

You’d have expected the Ministry of Defence to come out pretty badly in any review of disclosure and “whistle-blowing” policies. What you wouldn’t expect is the Cabinet Office, the Department of Constitutional Affairs and the Treasury to come out even worse.

The Cabinet Office actually only scored 3 out of a possible 28 points when measured against good practice criteria endorsed by the Committee on Standards in Public Life.

Public Concern at Work (the guys that ran the review) said: "As there are no sanctions in government for such a woeful performance, it is now down to incoming prime minister Gordon Brown and civil service chief Sir Gus O'Donnell to insist that the Cabinet Office practices what it preaches if it is to earn its place at the heart of government."


Thursday, May 31, 2007

Spoke too soon

Oh well. Figured it was worth waiting to see if the diagnosis of a Brown U-turn on Freedom of Information was accurate. Didn’t take long for a better reading.

In our pursuit of an MP willing to support the Misrepresentation of the People’s Act, many of them countered with the fact that FOI requests are all the protection/redress the electorate needs - enforceable by law and a refusal to comply can lead to a prison sentence.

Really ?

So why would a Government department refuse a request ?

In light of Mr Brown’s declaration that his reign would be one of a more honest and accountable government we wonder if he’ll slap the Office of Government Commerce on the wrist.

In Jan 2005 (just after the FOI was introduced) the OGC turned down a request to publish the early reviews of the ID card project. Richard Thomas – the information commissioner, upheld an appeal and ruled in favour of the disclosure. Hurrahhh !!!

The OGC appealed to the Information Tribunal. Booooo.

The Information Tribunal upheld the Information Commissioners ruling. Hurrraaaahhhh !!!!

Earlier this month, the OGC has decided to appeal again – this time to the High Court.

We’ll be watching how this plays out, but one thing’s for sure – GB may talk the talk, but either his government departments don’t give a shit, or GB’s full of it.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Brown U turn

More Freedom of Information...

Gordon Brown promised to reverse the Commons decision to exempt MPs from the Freedom of Information Act. "It will be corrected," he said of the legislation, passed by MPs 10 days ago.

Does this herald a new breed of democracy ?

Step 1 : Pass legislation
Step 2 : Media backlash
Step 3 : React to media backlash
Step 4 : Apologise
Step 5 : Reverse legialation

Probably not the best way to run a country (Assuming he gets to Step 5 - Ed).

Friday, May 25, 2007

Dictators take land from their sovereign subjects – without the quaint ritual

Had a bit of time to re-watch John Pilger’s documentary on the theft of the island Diego Garcia by the US and UK. It really is a shocker - the lies and shamelessness of Wilson's government in the 60's and I’d completely forgotten about the use of the royal prerogative by Blair’s government in 2004 after a court ruling in the islanders favour. Instead of using the normal legislative (democratic ? Ed) process, the Foreign Office bypassed Parliament and changed the law by use of the quaintly named "Order in Council", a remnant of the once all-powerful royal prerogative.

The Queen signed the quaintly named Order on Blair’s behalf to prevent islanders returning to the island forever. Don't forget - this was and after they’d carried out a deliberately protracted feasibility study on whether the island was inhabitable….errrr – there’s 6,000 US troops and contractors living on the fucker right now and before them at least 6 generations of islanders…. of course it’s fucking inhabitable.


The original coverage had this to say about the use of the Order in Council ;

The new order replaces the existing constitution of the territory and "makes clear, as a principle of the constitution, that no person has the right of abode in the territory or has unrestricted access to any part of it".

Richard Gifford, the London-based lawyer for the 4,500 islanders and their descendants seeking a right to return, said: "This is an absolute stab in the back. Not since the days of King John has anyone tried to expel British citizens from the realm by executive order."

In other words, a precedent was set that if the government wants to remove a British national from their land, it has the absolute right to do so via the crown.

Again, don’t forget, this was after the court had ruled against the Gov (and effectively the Crown). This makes yesterday’s ruling all the more sweet.

What also came out of the film is the fact that once upon a time, the islanders were given a hilarious £3,000 compensation for their troubles. Another action they’re taking to court. The foreign office has also got the gall to bitch about the cost of making it re-habitable for the original occupants. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to kick someone out of their home for £3,000 then lease it to someone else and pocket the profits. We wonder what the UK has received in rental income from the US over the past four decades ?

I can feel a Freedom of Information request coming on.

Heh, heh, heh.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Stealing a nation - again, it's the courts got that kinda muscle

Again, it's the courts got that kinda muscle .



We’ve been following closely the fate of the islanders of Diego Garcia. John Pilger lays out the story pretty well in this documentary - if ever there was a case for the Misrepresentation of the Peoples Act, this is it.

It’s one of the low moral points in the history of our special relationship with the US. In the cold war of the 60’s the US needed an airbase in that neck of the woods to keep an eye on the reds.

They asked our government if anywhere sprang to mind. The US only had one criteria - it had to be flat enough and long enough to support a runway capable of landing B52s. Our boys suggested the idyllic paradise of Diego Garcia. The US loved it (what’s not to love) and said they’d take out a lease once we’d got rid of the inhabitants.

Several months later, the British Governor ordered all of their pet dogs rounded up and killed. They also found that when they tried to return home from a trip abroad (generally nearby Mauritius) – they couldn’t. Any islanders left were rounded up, told their island had been sold and promptly deported. Lord Dennis Healey (Defence Secretary), Michael Stewart (Foreign secretary) and Harold Wilson were all in on the scam of pretending there was no indigenous population on the island. Parliament was not consulted.

The next 30 years were spent living in poverty, either in Mauritius or (as British subjects) in a small community near Gatwick airport. They’ve tried to get their case through the courts and won in 2000, and again in 2004. Both times the current gov’t either appealed or changed the island status to wrangle out of the ruling - without going through Parliament.

Fairly despicable behaviour. A foreign office official at the time wrote, "We do not regard ourselves as bound by the rules. In this respect we make the rules up as we go along."

Yesterday, the courts, once again, ruled in their favour, saying the government had acted unlawfully. The Foreign Office response was, "we're dissappointed." Poor things. Our hearts bleed. They now have 30 days to decide whether to appeal once more and delay the inevitable via the House of Lords. Let's see if they're actually big enough twats to try it one last time.

Once again, it seems the courts really are the only answer to government.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

only the Courts have that kinda muscle

We’ve already dealt with Lord Falconer, the (ex) Lord Chancellor/hepcat. When we interviewed him he made some strong arguments to counter the Misrepresentation of the People Act (more of which in another post) but left us with a feeling he was coming from the wrong place. Which is why he’s having a bust up with Britain’s most senior judge, the Lord Chief Justice over “not a constitutional crisis”.

The sticking point was Lord Falconer refusing to set up an inquiry into how the courts service could be protected under the new Ministry of Justice.

Alan Beith, MP, chairman of the committee looking into restructuring the new ministry, said he would not let the matter rest and the Lord Chancellor would have to give way. “I have been in Parliament for 34 years and I don’t think I have ever seen such clear anger and concern on the part of the senior judiciary.”

Keith Vaz, a committee member, said that the Lord Chief Justice’s comments amounted to unprecedented criticism of ministers by the judiciary.

As suspected – the courts may be the last authority to have enough muscle and independence to deal with this government.

We shall see. Full story here.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Restriction of Information Act, Chapter 17

Imagine refusing to show your employer copies of your business correspondence. Try it tomorrow and see if you’ve still got a job at 6pm.

One day after Gordon Brown told us his style of government would be more open and honest than the incumbent Blair, the House of Commons voted to exempt themselves from Freedom of Information requests where correspondence contains the personal data of constituents.

Essentially, it asserts there’s an obligation of confidence and a constituent may not have consented to the disclosure of personal details.

Aside from the fact that this is already covered by the Data Protection Act, there are no examples of this actually happening or of any complaints. It’s as if there aren’t enough get-out clauses for Government.

At the moment, there are 36 exemptions to disclosure under the FOI, and a further 300 statutes (not including the Official Secrets Act) that prohibit disclosure.

Of the 60+ thousand requests made since Jan 1st 2005 under the FOI, only 26,000 have been granted. Seven government departments have refused to give answers to more than half the requests they received.

There’s a legitimate argument for preventing personal details being released under FOI requests, but if they were halfway sincere in dealing with the issue, instead of giving Parliament the right to refuse a request - why not simply make it unlawful to disclose the relevant particulars without consent ? Better still, enforce the existing law.

Abso-fucking-lutely extra-ordinary. Here's a list of the gormless twats who actually voted for it. You'l notice a very poor attendance. That's 'cos 1) it's a Friday (constituency day) and 2) Gordon and his "new style of government" didn't deem it worthy of the whip.

And if you’re not convinced of their idiocy, check out the transcript of the debate in the house. We’ve said it before – it’d be hilarious if they weren’t running the fucking country.

Friday, May 18, 2007

The truth behind the stats

When the government says “tough on crime” what does it mean ?When we’re told more arrests are being made so we’re “winning the fight against crime”, what does that mean ?


David Keane, aged 6, imprisoned for throwing cucumber sandwiches

It’s one thing to lie about stats, quite another to so
cially engineer them. The Times has this to say ;

“What police describe as a target-driven criminal justice culture will come under attack today as Lord Falconer of Thoroton, QC, who was appointed Secretary of State a week ago, faces a debate at the annual conference of the Police Federation, which represents rank-and-file officers in England and Wales.

The leaders of 130,000 police officers have drawn up a dossier of “lunacy” on Britain’s streets. They say that children are being arrested for throwing cream buns and bits of cucumber and adults are getting criminal records for offences that merit nothing more than a ticking-off.

The pressure to get results is so bad, they say, that officers are criminalising and alienating their traditional supporters in Middle England and many are so disillusioned that they are considering quitting.”

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

the Bush Pilot project video

Turns out to be even more off-subject than our previous glory-find of secret footage from the Lord Chancellor when he was flat-mates with Tony Blair.

Our teutonic twat of a leak turns out to be amusing none the less. And
when it comes to foreign policy, this video explains a great deal.

Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour ?

Monday, May 14, 2007

Terrifying Brown stuff

No sign of the promised Bush pilot project video yet. We've been assured it will be with us tomorrow. We can only apologise for the unreliability of our East German contact. She professes to be scared shitless. Talking of which...

In our on-going quest to find an MP who’ll support “the Misrepresentation of the People’s Act” we’ve been badgering Gordon Brown.

Having been brushed off too many times to mention, last night, we snuck in to the Fabian Society’s hastily convened “leadership” debate in a last-ditch attempt to confront the man. It didn’t go well.

Long before we got a chance to badger him, we were spotted by the great man himself and immediately recognised.

Check out the look in his eyes - it says, “I know who you are, I know what you’re up to. I eat subversive mother-fuckers for breakfast. Look at me once more and I'll fucking have you”. Gulp. Those unfortunate enough to be sitting near me turned up their nose at the smell of fear. I was too paralysed to even mutter a denial. Besides, it could’ve been the natural odour from any of the unwashed hippies in attendance.

It took all of our courage to approach him afterwards for an interview request. His instructions were succinct ;

1) No longer are we to contact his press officer.

2) All communications should now be made via Damien McBride.

3) Vote Brown.

We googled McBride – he’s a “special advisor”. Little more is known.

Brown was less than impressed by our question, "Do you know you're flying low".

We’ll be sending in our interview request as soon as we’ve bathed.

Naturally, we’ll keep you posted.